It's The Book Of My Days, It's The Book Of My Life
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Of Anglesh, Dinglesh And Sister Babies
Thaïs will say and do anything to stay up past her bed-time. Last night, after I put on her pyjamas and got her ready for bed, she tried to have a conversation with one of her imaginary friends.
She flipped open her toy cell phone and said, “Hello… hmm… yes. OK… bye.”
That was when I made the biggest mistake of my life. OK… the biggest mistake of that night… Asking her who she was talking to as I switched off the lights.
Now, I’m giving you the abridged version. Our actual conversation went on much longer since my little darling has a tendency to repeat herself.
Thaïs: That’s my fwend.
Me: Oh. What’s your friend’s name?
Thaïs: Um… Anglesh.
Me: Is your friend a boy or a girl?
Thaïs: He’s a boy.
Me: I see… and where is he?
Thaïs: He’s… er… he’s far away.
Me: What’s he doing there?
Thaïs: He’s gone to find a sister baby.
Me: A sister baby?
Thaïs: Yes. For me to play with.
She opens up her phone again and has another inane conversation.
Me: Now what’s Anglesh saying?
Thaïs: Huh?! That was not Anglesh. That was my other fwend.
Thaïs: Er… Dinglesh.
Me: Is Dinglesh a boy or a girl?
Thaïs: A boy.
Me: And what is Dinglesh doing?
Thaïs: He’s also looking for a sister baby for me.
Me: I see. And what are you going to do with all these sister babies?
Thaïs: I’ll play with them. Cricket and golf and batminton.
Me: Hmm… both sister babies… Don’t you want a brother baby?
Thaïs: No. I want sister babies. Wait. Don’t talk. My phone is winging.
After hanging up…
Thaïs: That was my other fwend.
Me: What’s his name?
Thaïs: Er… Inglesh.
Me: Does Inglesh speak English?
Thaïs: What?! What you saying, Tana? Don’t talk all yubbish!
Me: I’m not talking rubbish. What language are we speaking in right now?
Thaïs: I don’t know. Daddy, what er… wang-idge are we speaking?
Mario: English. A pause…
Thaïs: No! That’s my fwend’s name!
Me: You told us your friend’s name was Inglesh.
Thaïs: OK… Sowwy!
Me: That’s OK. Have Anglesh and Dinglesh found your sister babies?
Thaïs: Not yet… I don’t know what they’re doing… Wasting my time…! Bloody swines…! Bassads…! I’m going to fire them!
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